I will be the first to admit that when it comes to expressing my emotions I am extremely stunted most time in spite of being a pretty witty and articulate person when it comes to public speaking, networking and work related endeavors. Music for me, as it is for most people, is a way to process and articulate feeling in ways that my brain has trouble processing appropriately (Trust me, when it comes to emotional intimacy, I am Queen of lacking strong elocution, just ask my Husband).
My husband and I had a very quick and whimsy start to our relationship. We met at work, I harassed him a ton to hang out with me (he was new to my hometown Baltimore) and within 2 months of us dating, I found myself uprooting my entire life to move to a small town in South Carolina that I have never heard of. Within 2 years we were married, within 5 years we found ourselves going through the whirlwind birth of our son (which will be discussed in another post) and now almost 9 years in homeowners with a precocious almost 4 year old trying to figure out our next steps in life.
Like any couple, we have seen many peaks and valleys, but at the end of the day I am so thankful that we crossed paths. When I met my husband I was 2 years out of an extremely abusive relationship and I was on a clear path of destruction (physically, financially and emotionally) I really attribute the patience that he has had with me to finally taking great strides to grab back the potential that I was so easily wasting and harness it into becoming a semi-successful "whole" person again. I still stumble, but heck I'm tryin'.
I spent the past almost 9 years creating this playlist entitled "A Troubled Cure, for a Troubled Mind" (a lyric from the featured song "Time Has Told Me" by Nick Drake, a song that I find completely captures the entire previous paragraph). Every time I come across a song that really pinpoints a moment, a feeling or emotion that I can't quite emphasize enough, I add it to this playlist. I remind myself, and my husband to visit it often to help aide us in recalling these moments.
In addition to time has told me my top tracks on this list include:
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys: this was our first dance as a married couple, my husband rolls his eyes every time I tell this description (but this is my blog damnit!): this is one of the most perfect songs ever written. The absolute contrary, surprise sweetness of this song is absolutely the best description of love and care that I have EVER found in a song. I find it also comparable to "You're the Good Things" by Modest Mouse
Into My Arms - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: This song would have hands down been my second selection for our first dance as a couple. There are only two songs in this whole world that will almost always cause me to tear up, and this is one of them. The raw sound of Nick Cave's somber croon over the pure cadence of the piano is just jaw-dropping. This song strikes me as someone who has struggled with faith personally, as it explores the dichotomy and accord of faith and love.
Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective: This fun cacophony of sound from Baltimore natives Animal Collective is a pure expression of a "summer" time love that is new and exciting. It reminds me of my husband and I's first date: starting at an Irish Pub ran by the sweetest Irish sailor, smuggling out whole glasses of whiskey at last call, and quite literally walking the entirety of downtown Baltimore with said glasses. Having our first kiss in front of a Gothic Cathedral, ending up by the harbor plotting which boats we could hijack or quite possibly sneak onto, and stumbling back to my apartment at the super early hours of the morning.
I encourage you all to give this playlist a listen, to inspire you or accompany you in the moments where you feel the love. Link to the playlist follows:
Leave me a comment about some of your favorite love songs below!